Dear Brandon,
I was talking about you today. People often ask me, “How are your boys?” My heart fills with joy and a big smile comes across my face with my reply, “They’re doing great!” And, you are. You are doing great. For me, I’ve seen a change come over you these last couple of months. You are growing up. The outside proof is clear. Just smile big and the evidence of your little kid years are disappearing one tooth at a time. Your baby teeth are falling out and your “big boy teeth” are taking their place. It makes me happy for you but also a little sad. As you grow, I can feel you desperately pulling for me to give you more independence, freedom and trust. It’s hard! I’m not ready. Sometimes, my insecurities take over and instead of allowing you to just be yourself I smoother you with my own fears and shield you from what I believe may hurt you. I feel this transition taking place between us. You are in between two worlds right now. The big kid media world that tells you to act and talk a certain way and this little kid world that still wants to cuddle with me every night and melt down when things don’t go as planned.
Yesterday, I was taking a picture of Charlie in his cute snow hat and you said, “Mom, what about this?” You put your tiny hands in your pockets, stood tall and gave me a perfect shot of you. It reflects exactly how I feel and resembles both worlds. This is you… perfect you!
